Don't doubt

I know that there are lots of preconceived ideas about our family. Mostly because the general public doesn't spend a lot of time hanging out at our house. The only time people see us is at church or school or at the park, etc...where our children are on their best behavior. It would be easy to make the mistake of thinking that our children behave like angels at home too, but home is the training ground and therefore the place where the boundaries are tried and tested. In an effort to “keep it real” I thought it would be a good idea to share some of our current struggles and how we are dealing with them.

Maximus is our youngest. He is such a blessing. I know that God gave me Max to keep me humble and help me remember what it's like to raise a high-energy, independent, fearless yet trainable little boy. Max is two and loves adventure, especially the kind that happens outside. He recently figured out that if he moved something close enough to the door that he could climb up and open the bolt lock that, up until this time, had been his barrier to the outside world. Not long ago, we were busy schooling and, as I do all day every day, I sounded the “where's Max” alarm. Nothing good happens in the absence of his noise so we immediately began to search. Initially, the inside was covered and Max was nowhere to be found, so we all went in a different direction outside. I went out the front door and started walking down the street. Before I could get out of our yard, I heard his little voice. At first it was difficult to figure out where the sound was coming from, but I could tell that he was not in distress. I followed the sweet sound of what I could now decipher as singing. We live on a little more than two acres so it took me a little while to get to him. As I came around the back I could see him clearly. He was in the far back corner of the property, sitting on the top of the well pump. He was facing away from me swinging his legs and singing a song, totally oblivious to the fact that we had been searching for him.

Despite our efforts to contain him, he managed to escape again after that. I realized at that point that I was going to need to be proactive. I decided that everyday for a week when Max woke up, I would take him to the door with a wooden spoon in my hand (a “consequence” with which he is well-acquainted). I would point to the door and tell him “no”. I would explain to him in as few words as possible that he may not go outside without someone big. Then I would make him point to the door and say “no, no”. As always, I had doubts that these tactics would work (I'm not sure why...I see results everyday), but I would be diligent to make it happen. ( just a side note: I believe doubt keeps parents from doing what the know they need to do)

I began on a Monday and by Wednesday he had stopped going out the door. There was even a time when I secretly followed him to the back door and witnessed what I believe is one of the small miracles of motherhood. He walked to the door and stood there staring, contemplating his next move. I waited, ready to issue the appropriate consequences. Then...music to my ears...he pointed to the door and said “no, no”!! and he walked away!! Praise the Lord!!! He got it!!! Why did I ever doubt?

As with all two year olds, Max needs reminders. About once a week I take him to the door and we have a refresher course on what will happen if he goes out the door by himself. And as with all two year olds, he tests us to see if that boundary still remains. He is a smart little guy who needs adventure. We make sure that he gets a chance as often as possible to go outside and play. He loves running and climbing and getting really dirty and that is OK. God created that in him and will use that to His glory someday. I'm not sure how, but I will cling to that and do my job. Train him, guide him and keep him around long enough to see how God uses him.

Blessings,

Trina

The Long Drive Home

This past Saturday, Dan, Jordan and I drove down to Los Angeles to send Jordan off for a semester in Israel. Dan had driven down in the wee hours of the morning so it was my turn to take the wheel so he could get some rest. As he slept, I had several hours to reflect on how far we've come since Jordan was born.

When we found out that we were expecting our first baby, I remember being ecstatic. We were so excited at the thought of actually starting our family. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will he look like Dan or like me? What color will his hair be? What will it be like to care of a baby that is my own? What kind of mother will I be? How am I going to do this? Oh, no....The excitement soon turned to the realization that I was going to be the number one person this baby would depend on for everything. I also realized that I had minimal experience as a parent ...ok no experience. A sense of panic set in. How could I possibly give him everything he needs? How will I even know what he needs?....

So I began to pray.

I prayed for the usual things a mother might pray: that he would be strong and healthy, that he would have all of his fingers and toes. I prayed that we would be diligent in teaching him the word of God and that he would come to know Christ at a young age. And just to cover all the bases, I prayed that God would give me wisdom in all the areas that I was lacking (which were many).

Jordan was born on March 24, 1990. We brought him home and began to care for and love him. During one of his feedings in the early morning before the sun was up, I remember sitting in the rocking chair in his room. I loved those quiet, peaceful moments. I spent a lot of that time just thanking God for the blessing that He had given us. As I held him in my arms I realized that at that moment, somewhere in the world, someone could be holding a little baby girl who may someday grow up to be his wife. I was overwhelmed with that thought and was compelled to begin to pray for her. I started praying the same prayers for her that I did for my own son; that she be healthy and strong, that she be well taken care of and safe, and that she be raised in a Christian home where she will be taught the word of God and come to know Him at an early age.

My prayers for her have changed as Jordan changed. As I saw his personality emerge, I prayed for his future wife. I knew she would need to be a good listener because Jordan liked to talk. I knew that she would need to be humble because Jordan had an unusual sense of humility. At age 12, when he decided to become a pastor, my prayers for her changed. I knew that it would take a very special woman to be the wife of a pastor. It would take someone independent and strong, yet endearing and friendly.

In the Spring of 2008, we noticed Jordan paying special attention to a certain young lady. Her parents noticed as well and her father called and asked Dan, Jordan and myself over for dinner. We spent the evening getting to know them and having a discussion about what it looks like to have a Christian dating relationship. At one point in the evening I excused myself to use the restroom. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed all of the pictures. As many families do, they had a beautiful collection of photos of all of their children. I admired their handsome family and moved on.

Jordan and Desiree spent that summer getting to know each other. Under the watchful eyes of both families, they developed a special friendship and then, sadly, said goodbye in the fall when Jordan went away to school. They continued to nurture their long-distance relationship throughout the year and continued to see each other throughout the next summer. By the time Jordan was ready to go back to school again, we knew what his intentions were. He expressed to us his desire to make Desiree his wife. We told him to pray and ask God for guidance and timing and all of the details that would be involved in such a proposal. By Thanksgiving, Jordan had a ring and during Christmas break, he proposed to Desiree and she accepted.

Shortly after that, Dan, Jordan and I were invited to her parents house. Once again we sat down over a meal just as we had done a year and a half earlier, except this time we were planning a wedding!! We reminisced about the first time we sat around that table and how much fun the last 18 months had been. We talked about their future together and how God is faithful and will provide for all things.

I excused myself from the table, except this time it was not to visit the restroom. I slowly walked down the hallway looking at each picture. I quickly found what I had been looking for. I found the sweet face of the baby girl I had been praying for 19 years ago. I found the pretty little girl who would be a good listener. I found the teenager who would be strong and independent and I found the beautiful, humble, young woman who will be my son's bride.

19 years ago I began to pray for this faceless person as an expectant mother prays for a baby she has yet to meet. God is faithful! I have met her and she is beautiful! Her name is Desiree and we are happy to add her to our family.

So why did I name this post "The Long Drive Home"? It might seem as though it was the drive home from LA that prompted the name. But as I thought through the last 19 years, it has been a long drive. We prayed so specifically and God answered so specifically. We pray consistently and God answer consistently. We prayed unswervingly and God answer unswervingly. I have seen the answers and have hope for answers with my other children. I am currently traveling down 9 other roads, each with their own set of prayers. I can't wait to see God's faithfulness in His choice of the other 9 spouses.

Blessings!

Trina