I came to a huge realization a few days ago. This epiphany may revolutionize my life. It may be the turning point between sanity and the nut house. And here it is:
I need a stamp with washable, hypoallergenic ink that reads …“VALIDATED”…
I was driving two of my kids to a class about 20 minutes away. Within 5 minutes, one of them began a conversation that went something like this:
“Mom, I think I have a mesquito bite in the middle of a scar that I got on my knee from a raspberry I got at grandma’s house.”
I struggled just a bit to follow her train of thought, but was able to piece it together.
“Oh, wow, that’s a bummer.” A typical “mom” response.
“Mom, look!”….
Now before I continue, I must remind you that I was currently driving our large van and this child was in the back seat…at least 5 feet behind me.
What I really wanted to say was, “OK, let me switch on my eyes-in-the-back-of-my-head vision and I’ll take a quick look.” But this child is old enough to know better than to ask me to look at something in the back seat while I am driving. So I said,
“You should have thought that through before asking me to look at something while I’m driving.”
To which she responded….“I did!!”
I didn’t say anything else for the rest of our drive because I was trying to wrap my brain around the fact that she thought it was important enough to jeopardize our lives in order to see this bug bite. That is when I realized that what she was looking for was validation. It wasn’t enough that I acknowledged it verbally….And then it hit me!! I need a stamp!! A stamp with big fat letters that says “VALIDATED”.
This would solve all of my problems!! I wouldn’t even have to speak!
“Mom, she hit me!!”
*thunk*….. right on the forehead….VALIDATED
“Mom, my foot hurts!”
*thunk*…..….VALIDATED
“Mom, watch this!”
*thunk*…..….VALIDATED
“Mom, I’m hungry!”
*thunk*…..….VALIDATED
“Mom, she took my shirt without asking”
*thunk*…..….VALIDATED
“Mom, its not my turn to do dishes!”
*thunk*…..….VALIDATED
Can you imagine!!
I realize this system is flawed. I realize I have more responsibility to verbally, emotionally and physically “validate” my children and their feelings. But I can dream, can’t I?
