Lessons in Tough

I recently had the opportunity to teach at our church about raising warriors, not wimps. As usual, I feel like I learned more than I taught. There is never enough time to teach all that I learned. Dan and I have always felt it was necessary to raise our children with a certain amount of physical fortitude. We don't spend a whole lot of time lamenting the injuries. In fact unless there is a bone sticking out, blood pulsing out, or a loss of consciousness, the kids know where the ice and the Bandaids are. Our children know that the biggest owie of the day gets a reward or at least a whole lot of recognition. "Rub some dirt on it." is a phrase you might hear one of my children say to another after a fall.  For the most part they don't even stop unless there is gravel embedded in the gash and then just long enough to wipe it off. In fact, I believe when it comes to "injury show and tell", Jordan proudly shows off the gravel that he carries in his hip to this day from a fall about ten years ago. Apparently he waited too long to wipe it off. 

As I studied to teach about raising warriors, I did some research on the computer. I looked up - Christian persecution in America 2009. I was stunned to find more examples than I had time to read. (you can look it up for yourself if you want) Suffice it to say that I now have a fire under me to make sure that my children know the Word of God and have the guts to stand up for it. I found out that in Virginia, it is illegal for the chaplains of the police department to pray in Jesus' name. In Colorado, they have made it illegal to print the bible because of the anti-homosexual content. The list goes on. So the question is how important is it to raise tough children? What is the world going to look like 20 or 30 years down the road. Will our pastors be allowed to pray in Jesus' name? Will our churches be allowed to possess bibles? Will we our children be allowed to raise their children according to the Word of God? Food for thought, huh?

Are you beginning to see why we may need to be intentional about our lessons in tough? As hard as it is to consider, our children are probably going to experience persecution on a greater level than we have (which is almost none). I want my children to be ready. That doesn't mean we are going to "practice" persecution or even talk a lot about it. 

I believe that our society has encouraged weakness in children. They are spending too much time indoors watching TV, playing video games or logging on to their favorite gaming website (hopefully that's all they are logging onto, another subject for another time). Send them outside!! Tell them to go out and get dirty!! The dirtier, the better!! And then celebrate the filth!!! If your worried about the dirt coming in, that's what the hose is for. What? The water is too cold? Tough!!! 

When I was growing up, we had big wheels and roller skates. Remember those? Do you know what happened to them? They put motors in them. Now even a two year old doesn't have to learn to peddle! They can get in the mini-jeep and push a button and it does the work for them!! Scooters, jeeps, quads and motorcycles can all be bought with a real motor that makes them go. Personally, the thought of my two year old, Max, behind the wheel of one of those bad boys sends chills down my spine. We don't own any battery-powered ride-on toys. My children have enough energy to make their toys go and, as far as I'm concerned, its energy meant to be burn outside not in my living room! 

Recently our oldest, Jordan, came home from college on break. He informed My husband and me that we had gone soft on our two younger boys, Hudson (10) and Payton (8). He said they were not as tough as he and Trevor had been at their age. I don't happen to agree, but that's OK. Jordan decided to institute something he called "Dude Cards". He made up 12 little cards that say DUDE on them. He gave 6 to Hudson and 6 to Payton and told them that if they do anything "girly" they will get a dude card taken away. The younger boys eagerly agreed and the fun began. In talking to them later, I discovered what constituted a "girly" thing. For instance, if you see a spider and scream like a girl, you will lose a dude card. If you sing and shake your bootie....dude card. And my favorite, if you skip away from a dude meeting....dude card. When they lose all of the dude cards, they get punched in the arm and called a "girl" and then get their dude cards back. 

Silly as this seems, it has made a big difference in our boys. I love that our older boys are taking responsibility for teaching their little brothers this kind of lesson. I love that they see the importance of it. I love that they have made it a priority in their lives. How important is it for our boys to know they are tough? Have you ever seen your boys puff up their chest and take pride in something? or even stick up for something or someone? That is what they should do!! That is what it takes to defend the Truth. 

Our boys need to grow up to be hard working, spiritually strong, Godly men who know how to be the leader of their family and stand up for what's right in their community. They need to be willing to do what it takes to provide for their family not matter what. So the question is, do your boys know how to work hard? Are they willing to break a sweat to get the job done? Maybe your boys are too young for that. If they can walk, they are old enough to learn to be tough!! If you are a mom who gasps every time your toddler toddles, consider a different response. When they fall, try saying "good job!". Wait and let them check for themselves. Encourage them to rub it or wipe dirt on it or do an owie dance or whatever helps them cope. You will be surprised by how resilient they can be. Our youngest rarely even slows down when he falls. The fall and recovery are all one movement and he seldom stops to check for any blood. His baths usually include a wound discovery time where he calls them to my attention, to which I always respond, "Wow, that's awesome!!!" I give him a high five and tell him how tough he is. 

When they are young, the girls are treated the same way. We do NOT have dude cards for the girls, but we celebrate injuries and their ability to overcome. They don't have a problem being tough. Eve took care of that. There is nothing pleasant about becoming a woman. It involves its own lessons in tough that we won't go into. Let's just say that they learn how to be tough in a different way and, so far, they have risen to the occasion (not that they had a choice!) 

I guess we should have a big "No Wimps Allowed" sign hanging on our door because we treat any visitor the same way. I have overheard our children telling the neighborhood children to get up and get over it so they can keep playing. The interesting thing about that is the visitors usually do get up and the fun continues.

After having spoken on this subject, I realized that regardless of what the future holds, I want my children to be spiritually, emotionally and physically strong. It is to their benefit and that of their future families. Jordan is studying to be a pastor. I realize now that that pastor who is standing in the pulpit of the future may need to have the guts to preach from the Word of God and pray in Jesus' name even if the law forbids it. Does he have what it takes to do that? Absolutely!! I am proud to say, he is proving his "Dudeitude". Trevor is hoping to be a firefighter and Hudson and Payton have only been punched once each since Christmas. They are quick studies!

Have a great day!!

Trina

ps. don't forget to visit our new website and see the services we offer. I have included a link (Fresh Perspective) under the picture of Max. Blessings!!!