Don't doubt

I know that there are lots of preconceived ideas about our family. Mostly because the general public doesn't spend a lot of time hanging out at our house. The only time people see us is at church or school or at the park, etc...where our children are on their best behavior. It would be easy to make the mistake of thinking that our children behave like angels at home too, but home is the training ground and therefore the place where the boundaries are tried and tested. In an effort to “keep it real” I thought it would be a good idea to share some of our current struggles and how we are dealing with them.

Maximus is our youngest. He is such a blessing. I know that God gave me Max to keep me humble and help me remember what it's like to raise a high-energy, independent, fearless yet trainable little boy. Max is two and loves adventure, especially the kind that happens outside. He recently figured out that if he moved something close enough to the door that he could climb up and open the bolt lock that, up until this time, had been his barrier to the outside world. Not long ago, we were busy schooling and, as I do all day every day, I sounded the “where's Max” alarm. Nothing good happens in the absence of his noise so we immediately began to search. Initially, the inside was covered and Max was nowhere to be found, so we all went in a different direction outside. I went out the front door and started walking down the street. Before I could get out of our yard, I heard his little voice. At first it was difficult to figure out where the sound was coming from, but I could tell that he was not in distress. I followed the sweet sound of what I could now decipher as singing. We live on a little more than two acres so it took me a little while to get to him. As I came around the back I could see him clearly. He was in the far back corner of the property, sitting on the top of the well pump. He was facing away from me swinging his legs and singing a song, totally oblivious to the fact that we had been searching for him.

Despite our efforts to contain him, he managed to escape again after that. I realized at that point that I was going to need to be proactive. I decided that everyday for a week when Max woke up, I would take him to the door with a wooden spoon in my hand (a “consequence” with which he is well-acquainted). I would point to the door and tell him “no”. I would explain to him in as few words as possible that he may not go outside without someone big. Then I would make him point to the door and say “no, no”. As always, I had doubts that these tactics would work (I'm not sure why...I see results everyday), but I would be diligent to make it happen. ( just a side note: I believe doubt keeps parents from doing what the know they need to do)

I began on a Monday and by Wednesday he had stopped going out the door. There was even a time when I secretly followed him to the back door and witnessed what I believe is one of the small miracles of motherhood. He walked to the door and stood there staring, contemplating his next move. I waited, ready to issue the appropriate consequences. Then...music to my ears...he pointed to the door and said “no, no”!! and he walked away!! Praise the Lord!!! He got it!!! Why did I ever doubt?

As with all two year olds, Max needs reminders. About once a week I take him to the door and we have a refresher course on what will happen if he goes out the door by himself. And as with all two year olds, he tests us to see if that boundary still remains. He is a smart little guy who needs adventure. We make sure that he gets a chance as often as possible to go outside and play. He loves running and climbing and getting really dirty and that is OK. God created that in him and will use that to His glory someday. I'm not sure how, but I will cling to that and do my job. Train him, guide him and keep him around long enough to see how God uses him.

Blessings,

Trina