I will faithfully pray for him

Our daughters had an interesting conversation recently that was relayed to me by a faithful friend. Three of our daughters (Madison 13, Moriah 12, and Hannah almost 11) were at their friends house for a little Christmas gathering. They had been watching "The Nativity" and were having a conversation about how young Mary was when she gave birth to Jesus and married Joseph. The topic then changed to arranged marriages and would it be Ok if their dad picked the man they were to marry. My girls and the daughter of my friend all agreed they would be happy with that because they knew their dads loved them and only wanted the best for them. Of course we have no plans to arrange their marriages, but it was nice to know they trusted their dads to make that decision for them. They soon began to talk about their own weddings and of course they all shared what their weddings will be like. At some point, Madison said to everyone that she knew exactly who she was going to marry. Of course everyone in the room (and out of the room, thanks Tamera) waited with baited breath for her to reveal this juicy piece of information. Without hesitation she said "I'm going to marry someone exactly like my dad". This faithful friend told me that the girls had no idea she was listening and that Madison's comment was completely unsolicited.

As my friend told me this story, tears fell. I was unprepared for the flood of emotions. I was instantly struck with an urgency to be on my knees in prayer for my husband. I pray for him regularly for the usual things like work, financial stress, health; stuff like that. But this is a whole different thing. I know that it is normal for little girls to love their daddys and even talk about marrying them, but when a thirteen year old girl still looks at her daddy and knows that someday, the man she marrys will be just like him, the magnitude of the role he plays in her life goes off the chart.

In the midst of the mass of Christmas greetings on this desk are three precious pictures. They stand out to me right now because all three families have only daughters. Precious little girls who are looking to their daddys to be an example. Pray for those daddys and the priviledge they have to be the object of such affection.

I am blessed to have a husband who understands the weight of his responsibility. He knows he holds his daughters' affection until they meet the one God has chosen to be their husband. I am sure he wouldn't have it any other way. So I will faithfully pray for him.

Be Blessed,

Trina

Maintaining My Sanity

There are a few questions that I have heard more than once in the last couple of weeks: How do you maintain your sanity and how do you manage to have a quiet time in the midst of everyday life? These are very good questions and I have to admit that on some days I don't do either very well. After all, no body's perfect. Right?

To answer the first question though, in order to maintain my sanity one must imply that I had my sanity to begin with. That depends on how one would define sanity. If sanity means I can remember my own name; I'm sane. If it means I can remember my child's name while he's standing right in front of me; Not so much. If it means I can teach simple addition and subtraction facts; I'm good. If it means I can remember that the Pythagorean theorem is that the square drawn on the hypotenuse of a right triangle has the same area as the sum of the square drawn on the other two sides; . . . huh? If being sane means I can tie my own shoes; I am. If it means I can find shoes for all my kids; Nope. So you see my dilemma? In my world I feel completely sane. If you were to step into my world for a moment, you might not have the same answer.

I do understand the heart of that question and my answer to that is: I do one thing at a time. OK maybe two or three things . . . OK sometimes four things, but never five. I never do five things at once. . . .I guess I don't have a great answer to that question. Let's move on to the next one. I do have an answer for that.

How do I have a "quiet time" everyday? I don't. Before you judge me too harshly, let me explain. I learned sometime back when I had lots of little ones and I was feeling like the great "need-meeter" that if I was going to survive, I needed to maintain my relationship with Christ. I tried to get up early. After all this is what everyone was teaching; that if you didn't start the day with a minimum of three hours of praying and worship and reading the Word and more praying and worship and meditation, that there was NO possibility for growth. OK, that's not really what they taught, but it might of well have been. In my little world at home, I could not make that work. No matter how early I got up, even if my feet didn't hit the floor, at least one of my children would wake up. And then inevitably, I would start the day resenting the fact that my children were "hindering" my walk with the Lord and THAT is never good. So I changed my game plan. I made sure that I was always involved in a bible study somewhere. Then at least I was getting something from The Word at least once or twice a week. (church counts, too.) This also motivated me to get my study done. So I would try to do my study during nap time or during any other quiet moment the day would offer me. I figured out that if I left my bible and my study open on the kitchen counter, I could do one question at a time and eventually get the whole study done in time for the meeting. This led me to have an open dialogue with God throughout the day. I am constantly shooting up "arrow" prayers. Like "Lord give me wisdom.", "Help me to be the mommy they need me to be right now"," Lord, please help me not to eat that cookie when there is an apple that would taste just as good and be better for me". Really! I really pray like that and believe that my relationship with Christ is closer now than it has ever been.

As my life has evolved from having many little ones to having bigs and littles, I am finding more of those quiet moments. I don't have nap time anymore, but I do have dentist appointments and piano lessons. I take my life journal and bible study everywhere with me so I can take advantage of those moments.

We have a garden out in the "way back" . Our soil is very sandy. If we turn the water on full blast and leave it on for an hour, the water will go straight through and will be less effective in keeping the plants hydrated than if we turned it on to just a drip and left it on all day. My encouragement to all of you mommies who feel like you are being sucked dry. Turn on the drip system. Let God's word saturate every part of your life. Open your bible and just read a little bit at a time. It will soak in to the very deepest parts of your heart. Don't let Satan convince you that if you can't meet God first thing in the morning with an hour of quiet that you might as well not even try. That's a lie! God knows exactly where you are. He knows how busy you are and how tired you are and how burdened you are and He wants to bear those burdens for you. But there is no way for Him to help if you don't go to Him with those things. It might seem silly to talk to God about what you are eating, but I have had conversations with my close friends about what I eat and wear and do. God wants to be that close to you. Give him the chance!

Be blessed!
Trina

Where is it?

Where is it? I know I left it here somewhere! Its here under my housework and my school work and my finances. . . .Hang on just a second . . . There it is! I found it! . . .Are you wondering what "it" is? Stick with me and you'll understand.

We homeschool our children and up until a few years ago, we were independent of any home school co-op or charter school. Which just means we did what we want when we wanted to. When I taught history, I taught all the kids at the same time. They all had different assignments based on the same time in history. We did the same thing in many of the other subjects.

When our oldest was about to go into highschool we decided that we needed to be affiliated with a charter school that could take care of all of the necessary paperwork and record keeping for college. We chose Sanger Hallmark. They provided all of his curriculum (up until that point we had been buying it on our own), a teacher who met with him at our house for one hour a week, and many other opportunities that we could not afford on our own. (Music, Art, Academic Decathlon . . ) It went really well that year and so, the next year, we decided to enroll all of the other children there as well. That meant I would now have seven children in seven different grades doing seven different subjects. Oh yeah . . . and a 3 year old, and a 7 month old baby. . . . What was I thinking??!?!

Excuse me for a minute while I let the waves of anxiety subside. . . . OK . . . . About two weeks into that year, I found myself completely buried in school work. I literally schooled from 8:30 am straight through into the evening after Dan came home from work. Needless to say, I was struggling.

One evening, I was teaching someone, trying desperately to just finish that days work so we would not have to start the next day in a deficit when Bailey (3 at the time) came in and stood next to my chair. I'm not sure what her initial intentions were, but she quietly said "mommy?". I turned and looked at her and she hesitated. . . then with the honesty only three-year old Bailey could have, she asked "Do you still like me anymore?" It was all I could do to keep myself together long enough to give her the answer she needed. "Of course, Bailey. I love you!"

"Yeah, but I don't think you like me very much." The knife to my heart . . . in and turning! I picked her up and sat her on the table in front of me and asked her why she thought that. Again with the brutal honesty: "Because you don't smile at me anymore." I apologized to her and reassured her that I still liked her, too. Needless to say, I was done teaching for that day. I took Bailey into the kitchen and put her up on the counter and let her help me make the biscuits for dinner. More importantly, I looked Bailey right in hers eyes and smiled and it felt so good. I realized I had lost my smile. It had become so dark in our home and it was my fault! I had made the choice to get bogged down in the amount of work I had to do. I convinced myself that no one should have to do this much work and I knew there was not one person in this world that would argue with me. So why should I have to endure this? Why me? It was the biggest pitty party of all time. Streamers, balloons, cake and ice cream. The Works!!! And I had forced my entire family to be the honored guests. Like it or not!

Could I have been more selfish? I don't think so. Fortunately, Bailey crashed my party. And, now looking back, I think she is the only one who could. I would not have received it as well from anyone else and quite honestly, I don't think anyone else would have said anything. The amazing thing about that whole situation was that a great burden had been lifted. It was as if I had been given permission to smile again. I still had seven students in seven different grades with seven different subjects. I still had a 3 year old, and a 7 month old. We still schooled from morning til night, but I had been given persmission to enjoy it again. I love my children. I enjoy my children. I want them to see the joy in my face when I look at them. They deserve to be enjoyed purely because God created them to be a blessing. Psalms 127:3 says"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, Children are a reward (blessing) from Him."

I am happy to say, that God is faithful. I have been blessed beyond measure with a husband who loves me when I'm searching for my smile. I have children that make me laugh daily and I have a God who chooses to speak with a three-year-old voice.

Now, did you figure out what I was looking for? It was my smile! I found it! And I choose to find it every day! What is hiding your smile? Do you need permission to find it? Permission granted! Now go enjoy your day!!!

Trina

High Energy Children

Someone asked me if any of my children were "high energy". I laughed! What I wanted to say was "No. I have no idea what you're talking about. None of my children have ever spoken out of turn or walked out of line. They have never dumped out all 40,000 legos and spread them all over the room. They have never covered themselves in baby powder during naptime. They have never written on themselves, their sister and the newly painted bathroom walls with bright red lipstick. And my favorite: They have never taken off a poopy diaper, stepped it and made poopy foot prints all over the carpet." But then reality smacks me in the face and I have to say "Yes". If God has chosen to bless you with one of these little treasures, you are finding yourself saying "no" 15,634 times a day. Instead of enjoying a quiet moment, you panic because quiet can't be good! And the thought of one of your friends "dropping by" creates all kinds of anxiety because your "treasure" has been busy all morning and your house now lies in ruin. Be encouraged! I am convinced that these children are going to do amazing things with their lives. I'm sure you would agree, they are going "somewhere" FAST. Our job is to be a constant guide so that that "somewhere" is "somewhere" good.

When Madison was about a year old, we could see that she had more energy than her two older brothers. She was always up at the crack of dawn and ready to take on the world. I guess I had been spoiled by her brothers who woke up early, but once I nursed them they were happy to go right back to sleep. Not Madison! As time progressed, she had some breathing issues that landed her in the hospital on more than one occassion. When we would bring her home from her stay at the hospital (usually a week) she would be wired on all kinds of steroids. Now she was not only "busy", she was also angry! She was promoted out of the nursery at church because she beat up on every child in there.

When she came down off of the steroids, she was still busy! She was like a little hurricane leaving a path of destruction wherever she went. On several occasions, she even got lost. And I'm not talking about in a department store. One time we were at a County Fair on the Fourth of July. We had been walking through the midway and let the kids ride one ride. We walked away from that area and were in the dispaly with all kinds of birds. An area we thought she would be interested in. Before we could turn around, she was gone. It was so crowded, we decided to go staight to the security to see if they could help us. About ten long minutes later, someone came across the security radio saying that they had found her. She had decided to go back to the midway to ride the rides. She was three. We hugged her and told her we were so relieved to find her. She looked at us like we had just spoiled the best time of her life. Later that same summer we were up at my parents cabin in the mountains. We had just returned from a little craft fair that was down the hill and across the street. We put the babies down for naps (Moriah 2 and Hannah 1)and Jordan 7, Trevor 5 and Madison 3,were downstairs watching a movie. Dan and I were enjoying the quiet. . . . wait too quiet! You see, even when watching a movie, Madison was not quiet. We quickly called downstairs only to find our worst fears confirmed. She was nowhere to be found. The search was on. We went outside and started calling her name. No response. I started to panic. Where could she have gone? The possibilities were endless. We were in the mountains, there were trees and bushes and animals and . . . before I could go any further in my mind, Dan (my wonderfully calm and brilliant husband) Said "I know where she is." He told me to stay here and he would go get her. He walked back down to the craft fair. And guess who he found. She was standing with a woman who told Dan that he could not take her because she had already called the Sheriff and he was on his way. Dan waited with Madison and the strange woman until the Sheriff arrived. He explained what had happened and brought Madison back to the cabin. Of course she received some "consequences" and then was put to bed. There are many more "Maddy" stories. Ones about potty training, about hitting brothers and sisters, about running into her room yelling "I hate you" and slamming her door.

But I'm sure you get the idea and I need to fast forward to this last summer. She is 13 now. I had to have surgery in July. When I came home from the hospital, the kids had moved the TV and DVD into my bedroom so I could recover there. Of course, that meant that all of the kids were in my room as well. This was great most of the time. I really enjoyed having them with me. Occasionally the pain was so severe that the only thing I could do was cry. The pain meds weren't helping and I just couldn't cope. Through tears, I had to ask the kids to go out of the room for a little while so I could "rest". (cry alone. really) The children were all wonderful and would file out quietly. (I don't cry very often, so they were all very concerned). One particular time, they were leaving the room and the door closed behind them. A few seconds later, Madison came back in quietly and touched me on the arm. "Mom, would it be OK if I prayed for you right now?" She sat down at the foot of my bed and said a quiet prayer for me. It makes me cry just thinking about it. She has come so far!! God is so faithful!! We have stuggled for so many years hoping that we were doing the right thing for her. Are we doing enough? Are we too hard on her? Do I have to keep telling her the same things over and over? . . . Yes. We are doing enough. No. We have not been too hard on her. and YES. I have to keep telling her the same things over and over and over and over . . . She is still a very "active" child. But she is becoming a beautiful young woman and we are beginning to see the fruit of our labor. Quite honestly, I'm not sure when she was three, that I would have considered her a "blessing". And that is why I have written this today. I want all of you who have a child like Madison to be able to have a glimpse into the future. Be diligent. Be consistent. Don't make excuses for them. Hold them to a higher standard. So that someday, they will "rise up and call you blessed"! Proverbs 23:24-25 says "The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!" I can say honestly I rejoice in the day Madison was born!

Be blessed!

Trina

Madison has read this and given her permission to post it.

What have you taught your children today?

What have you taught your children today? I'm not talking about academics. I'm talking about "life lessons". On a good day, you could have taught them to be kind to one another or to share their toys with their brothers and sisters. On a bad day, if you're like me, you could have taught them how to be irritable and selfish. (yes, I have bad days, too!) Fortunately or unfortunately depanding on how you look at it, our most powerful teaching tool is our example. We could spend hours trying to teach them kindness using books, videos and playgroup or whatever other fluff that is available, but ultimately, they learn to be kind because they see us being kind. They learn happiness because they see us being happy. Likewise, they learn selfishness because they see us being selfish or bitterness because we are bitter. Now, I know you could tell me about how you didn't deserve to be talked to like your husband did this morning or to be cut off in traffic like that "idiot" did yesterday. And if I had been there I would probably agree. But that doesn't let you off the hook. Let's look at a similar situation on a smaller scale (literally). My 5 and 3 year olds were playing together. The younger one took a toy from the older one, who then yelled a few choice words and whacked her sister in the head with a wooden block. The three year old came to me screaming and holding her head. (of course dramatics were added to make the guilty party guiltier) When I asked the "whacker" what she did to the "whackee" she said "She took the bed I was using so my babies can go to sleep. Now I have no place to put them for a nap!" That sounds legitimate. But is it OK for her to use abusive words and actions to fix the problem? Of course not. We, as mommies, are adults (hopefully) and somewhere along the way, we have learned a certain amount of self control. We don't get out of the car and whack the selfish guy who took our parking spot. But, often we have a few choice words for him that only the little people in the back of our car can hear. What have you taught your children today?

A couple of weeks ago, we were getting ready for the fair. Our five oldest children are in 4H. They all show sheep and needed clothes and boots for their uniforms to be complete. We were at the store with Jordan who needed pants. We were also buying three pairs of boots for the other kids. When we got to the check out stand, the total came to $75.00. (If you know anything about the cost of boots, you know that's not quite right. It should have been around $200.00)) When we got out of the store, I realized that neither Dan nor Jordan had noticed that the bill was a lot less than it should have been. (They had been busy talking about the upcoming football game). Every part of me wanted to just get in the car and go home and not mention it. That extra money could have gone a long way towards the other fair costs that were upcoming. I asked Dan to look at the receipt to see if it was right. He did and we went back in and paid the rest. There was no party thrown in our honor for being honest, there was hardly even a "thank you". But I know the payoff was that our son had seen us be honest because it was the right thing to do. It is what God calls us to. What have you taught your children today?

We heard today at bible study about a mom who is in the midst of a battle for her life with cancer. She is a godly woman, wife and mother of three children. The youngest is 16. He is good friends with my two boys (Jordan 17 and Trevor 15). As I sat there in that church listening to the heart wrenching story of how the cancer has spread and that her prognosis is 2 - 3 months, I was obviously overcome by the saddness of their situation. But I also felt a sudden sense of urgency for my own family. All kinds of questions popped into my mind. Have I done my job? Would my children be Ok without me. Have I taught them all that I need to. Have I loved on them enough to last their lifetime? Boy, does that put things into perspective!! So much of our time is spent teaching school, sports, dance, church, friends, clubs . . . How much time do we spend teaching "God"? What have you taught your children today?

Choose to be blessed today!

Trina

A fly on the wall

"A fly on the wall." someone said to me today. "I would just like to be a fly on the wall of your home for one day." If I had a dollar for every time someone has said that to me, I'd be a rich woman.
Let's see. What would you have seen today? Sundays are a fun day for us. We got up and cooked 3 pounds of bacon, 4 dozen muffins, and 2 dozen eggs (scrambled of course). Oh yes, and a pot of coffee!! We set the table with 11 plates, 11 cups, 11 forks (Max doesn't eat real food yet) We polished off almost all of that food and a gallon of milk to boot! No. We don't do this every day; only on Sundays. We have lots to talk about around the table because the fair has just ended and we are celebrating our success at the Junior Livestock Auction yesterday. (We raise sheep for 4H).
Do I need to continue? It sounds so ordinary to me. We get dressed, do chores, do a little clean-up, watch some football, go to a church meeting, take the ewes to the breeder, then go to evening church. Except for the "ewes to the breeder part" doesn't that sound like a normal Sunday for most people? I know . . . we stopped being normal with the birth of our fifth child. I think ten makes us certifiable! I won't bore you with the rest of the details of this day. Just know that somehow I made it to the computer before midnight. The kids are all in bed and Dan is sleeping on the couch waiting for me to finish so we can go to bed. So let me get to the point.

Here's what I know. I know for sure that we are blessed beyond measure! And that these blessings come with a tremendous amount of responsibility. It is my job to teach them to use a sippy cup and a spoon, to say please and thank you and not to burp out loud. It's rude! I need to show them how to dress themselves and brush their teeth, to tie their shoes and put away their toys. Its my responsibility to teach them to be kind and share, to use nice words and not pull hair. "Mama watch this" will be repeated one thousand and one times and I will be as excited about the first cannon ball as I will be with the last. I will bandage their "ouchies" when they are young. Then, when they are older, I will be a comfort when their "ouchies" can't be touched by human hands. I will pray for them everyday. Most importantly I will show them Christ.
This all may sound overwhelming. My goal in making this blog is to be an encourager to those of you who feel overwhelmed and to give you some practical ways to make everyday a little better. There is no greater calling than to be a mommy and I feel blessed to be a part of so many "mommy's" lives.
Be blessed today. Look into their little faces and know that God chose them for you. Tickle them, laugh with them, love them!

Trina