You just have "good kids"

"You just have good kids". I hear this more often than just about any other comment. So I guess it's time to share the real truth behind what makes our children better that all the other children in the world. Here it is:



We have genetically engineered children that contain GKG, the benopheles adolesiosifent gene; or Good Kid Gene. Exactly 3 days, 12 hours, and 47 seconds after birth, we inject our children with a biogenetically enhanced serum that contains GKG. The enhanced genes then attach themselves to the temperament portion of the DNA strand. At this time we also inject them with the DNA coding for blonde hair and blue eyes. 32 hours later, they experience a sudden change in behavior. The only side effect is a temporary rash on the back of their necks; this lasts for about 2 days. From the moment this rash dissipates the child is essentially vaccinated for all incorrect behavior patterns. My husband and I have been altering and testing our genetic modifications and DNA enhancements for 20 years. In fact, the key rationale responsible for us having 10 children was to test these serums. Thus far, our GKG enhancements and Blue Eye serum have yielded excellent results. However, we have found a few faults in the blonde hair modifications. For instance, in test subject #001479, also known as Jordan, the blonde gene mutation could not resist the chemical imbalances of puberty, and his hair changed to a shade of brown. Not to worry, we found that the solution was to encode the genetic mutation with the substance docilestacene, which defends the hair DNA from altering chemicals. Very few parents have the knowledge of biogenetical enhancements necessary to insert GKG into their offspring. There are a few lucky individuals whose children randomly acquire the GKG, however the chances of this are 1,927,448/1.
Patent Pending!


Watch . . . just like the dishwasher with a garbage disposal in the bottom (which I thought of when I was 12) someday this will really be possible and someone will make millions and it won't be me. For now, to my knowledge, this is not possible. So how does it work? How do we get our children to obey? How are they so "perfect"? The answer is . . . they're not. They all have their moments. Like all the other children in the world, mine were all born with the sin nature, and therefore need to be encouraged to develop a taste for the things of God and not the things of the world. If left to their own devises, they would get everything they wanted and nothing that they needed. ie Candy vs. vegetables.


Part of our responsibility as parents is to determine the difference between needs and wants. My three year old daughter Abigail will come to me and say "Mommy, I NEED a cookie!" Believe me, she can be very convincing. She can tell me why . . . "I'm starving"(she's not), "I didn't get breakfast" (she did), "Bailey got one" (She didn't) . . . She can also be very persistent. She will ask again and again, like somehow each time she asks she is wearing down my mommy Resistance shield. (she's not). Most of the time I don't let her go on and on. We will stop and practice saying "O.K. Mommy" and walking away. Sometimes it takes a few times. It goes something like this:


"Mommy, can I have a cookie?"

"No, Abby, we are going to have lunch soon and you can have a cookie after lunch."

"Please can I have a cookie? I NEED one! I'm staaaaarving"

"Abby, Mommy said "no" what do you need to say?"

"OK Mommy"


And she will turn and walk away. How does she know to do that? We have practiced. We have actually lined everyone up in the family room and asked the youngest child who could speak to ask for a cookie (Bailey, 3 at the time, was the target of this exercise).


"Bailey, ask me for a cookie." I said. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas and with great anticipation,
"Mommy, can I have a cookie?"
"No, Bailey", was my response. "We don't have any cookies." She was instantly devastated. I was actually surprised by her passion for that cookie. Dan and I then talked to all the kids about our response to disappointment, even if it's just a cookie. We talked about the fact the Dan and I don't say "no" to everything. (Why say "no" when you can say "yes".) We really do try to say "yes" whenever possible. (like mud baths and swimming in January) We explained that when they ask us for something and our response is "no", they need to say "OK Mom" or "Yes mommy" and then walk away with a smile.


So once again I reminded Bailey that we didn't have any cookies in the house and again I told her to ask me for a cookie. Again with the Christmas-like anticipation followed by the passionate devastation. It took about four tries for her to finally understand, but she DID eventually get it. And now it is a blessing to me to hear her say "OK mommy" and watch her walk away with a happy attitude. (She still needs an occasional reminder.)



This is where I usually hear "You must just have good kids". And now is the time that I would love to have some of the people who know Bailey personally testify. They would use words like: feisty, precocious, smart, tough, strong-willed to name a few.


We love all of our children more than anything, and we want for them to grow up to be happy responsible adults who love the Lord with all their hearts. That is our goal. In order for that to happen, they need us to help them know what they want and what they need and what the difference is. So we turn off the TV and get off the computer and we train them. I know training them about cookies seem silly, but training about how to handle disappointment isn't.


I am in a unique position right now. Not because I have ten children, but because I have such a large age range. We are sending our oldest son off to college this year and we couldn't be happier or more excited to do so. He is an amazing young man who loves the Lord. He is compassionate, hard-working and wise beyond his years. He expressed to us his desire to become a pastor when he was 12. He is going to The Master's College in Santa Clarita. For those of you who don't know, that is a private Christian college. . . Did you get that? . . . Private . . . Do you know what that means? . . . $$$$$$$$$. Money that we don't have. And without blinking, he told us he was going to do it without taking out any student loans. Really?!?! . . .My response was: "Good luck with that." (oh ye of little faith) To date, all but $2,700 is paid for and he still has a few scholarships we haven't heard about. Amazing!


So why am I telling you this? Because this is the boy who walked into a doctor's office at age 3 and pushed over the cute little girl who was sitting on the floor. This is the little boy who covered himself with baby powder when he was supposed to be napping. I could go on and on about the trespasses in his life, but I think I've made my point. I have the advantage of being able to see the fruit of training in my older kids and know that what I'm doing with my younger children will yield those same results. For that I have faith!! For those of you who have just little ones, be encouraged. Keep training, be diligent and consistent. My hope for all of you is that you will look at your children someday and feel the pride I do when I look at my son and see what an amazing man he has become.




Here are my "book ends". Jordan is 18 and Maximus is 1.

By the way, Jordan wrote the piece about the GKG. Credit where credit is due!

Blessings,
Trina